WOODBURY — Ever since I was a little girl, I have always wondered what I would be when I grew up. I recall moments of talking to my parents on road trips, conversations with my teachers, and personal thoughts about my future. It has always been a looming thought — both exciting and unsettling.
But when I started high school, it got real all of a sudden. Instantly, it feels like everything matters: every grade, every study session, every test.
We are all faced with significant decisions after high school. Whether that be college, a trade school, working full time, or travelling the world, the options are endless. Yet with all those choices, I find myself stuck in a place of confusion, and I know I’m not the only one.
“Every day I am constantly stressed out focusing on my future and what is coming next so much that it deprives me from living in the moment and focusing on the now,” says Jadyn Heron, a sophomore at Nonnewaug. “Everyday I think about what I will do after high school. It’s a thought that lingers in my head 24/7. I’m so afraid to fail, not make enough money or not be able to live out my dream so I am always thinking about succeeding. Plus I like to plan things out and right now my future isn’t all planned out and it’s bugging me”
You’re not the only one.
I feel like in high school, the pressure is real. Everyone is waiting to see what college you go to, or what you decide to do, within such a quick period of time.
What do I want to be? Do I even want to go to college? What should I major in? Should I travel…how will I do that? How far will I go? All these thoughts start to take over our brains, and hinder being fully immersed in the moment.
“I don’t really know what I am going to do yet, and it’s scary trying to plan for college but you don’t really know what you want to do,” said Ella Quinn, a junior. “I also think the whole college process and especially the recruiting process for playing sports in college is also really scary and stressful just because it’s hard not knowing where you’re going to end up.”
“It’s hard for me to stay present when I’m wondering about my future,” adds Cashlyn Medonis, a sophomore. “I get overwhelmed and have to reality check myself to just stay in the moment and not really care.”
It may seem as if the decisions we make now lay the foundation for our futures, creating an overwhelming wave of stress. And if we don’t prepare properly, or figure it out right away, we will not be successful in life. Despite this, one skill remains most important: a willingness to remain open to where our lives take us.
“Having a plan is great but also be willing to be flexible and enjoy the small moments,” said Courtney Anderson, a 2022 Nonnewaug graduate, and current junior at University of South Carolina, majoring in accounting. “There’s a stigma now that you need to have your whole life planned at 18, and you don’t. Focusing on the next step will take you further than trying to get your life together all at once.”
Why do we think these ways? Why do we put this pressure on ourselves? That’s an issue in society, and rather, we should focus on what we can take control of now.
Amanda Wochek, a class of 2020 graduate, and a class of 2024 graduate of University of Rhode Island where she double majored in Psychology and Human Development and Family Science, acknowledges that importance.
“High school is only so long, and you really don’t want to waste your time stressing out about the unknown,” says Wochek. “Take control of the things you are able to do, and when it comes to the things that are out of your hands take a breather and know that everything will work out how it is meant to. Enjoy living in the moment and participating in the memorable high school events like spirit week, basketball games, and school dances because I know those are memories that I will cherish forever.”
Navigating the road between creating memories and worrying about what’s next is a challenge for any student. Fortunately, for students at NHS, there are adults who help us through these changes.
Kathy Green, the College and Career Resource counselor at Nonnewaug reminds us of something crucial to remember in high school: balance.
“High school is not the end game, you know,” said Green. “I think balance is a huge part of high school. You’re not going to get these years back, and yet there are great experiences to come after high school. There’s great value in exploration and self reflection. So check in- what are your priorities, what is it you want to achieve and what does that demand? What are your goals, and how can you break those down into habits? Because that’s what allows us to succeed.”
As graduation approaches, inevitably there will be doubts trying to snag your attention and disturb you, but instead fighting it, rather, we should embrace it.
“There is always the uncertainty of not knowing what the future holds,” says Reena Tracey, a 2020 Nonnewaug graduate, and 2024 graduate of University of New England, majoring in applied exercise science and now in graduate school at Marist University pursuing a doctorate of physical therapy. “But my advice would be to make a plan and give yourself things to continue to look forward to, to keep your motivation but always expect there to be a change in plans or a bump in the road but that is a part of life. Don’t get fixed or stressed on the small things and try to stay positive.”
“Everything will always work out the way it’s meant to be,” says Anderson. “Time really goes by so fast, but you also have plenty of time in college to worry about your future. It’s easy to get caught up in the “what-ifs” of the future, but looking back I wish I spent more time focusing on what I could control today.”
There may be expectations to conform to others, but remember: your life and decisions are yours to choose.
“And then yes, even still, there are some students, their personalities, where they’re going to be more influenced by peers’ opinions,” said Green. “But again, another thing I said in here is, put up your blinders, throw in your earplugs, because you have to stay in your lane, you’re not going to be happy if you’re more focused on what others think versus what is right for you, and your path.”
In deciding our own path sometimes our own lofty expectations can be our own worst enemy.
“Overall, it’s important to know that no one expects you to know it all, whether that’s professors, colleges and even jobs,” said Anderson. “Use everything as a learning opportunity, but enjoy high school. It goes by so fast and it is your time to ‘be a kid’. College makes you grow up really fast and face reality, so don’t get too stuck in the future. When I think about my time at Nonnewaug, I don’t think about the stress I was feeling, I remember all the memories I made with my friends and the people that supported me to the point I am today.”
We all have a place in this world, and ultimately, there is a plan waiting for us. While it may be difficult to embrace this time in our lives, we will look back one day and find comfort knowing everything worked out.
“I certainly encourage students to stay in their lane and stay true to their interests and strengths and values and pursue what makes sense for them,” says Green. “It can feel consuming. So, take a breath, and realize, there’s going to be a place and a path for you, regardless.”
This is the opinion of Addison Bushka, a sophomore features editor for the Chief Advocate.
