“How’s your sister doing in college? I miss her so much.”

“Oh, she’s doing great.”

“I’m so glad! She is an amazing and very smart kid. You have a lot to live up to.”

In this recurring conversation with teachers, family members and anyone who ever knew your older sibling, these exchanges are nothing short of nauseating. Conversations about your siblings inevitably end with an annoyed laugh from the youngest to punctuate an awkward conversation for only one person … the sibling who is held to the lofty standards of our elders.

Comparisons aren’t flattering. They’re frustrating.

No matter how hard people try, they will always compare siblings. These comparisons are wide-ranging: how they act in school, their grades, the things they find different between your personalities. It is hard to have constant comparison especially when you are following a similar path.

“I think the biggest challenge I face is the comparison between me and my siblings,” says senior Kyleigh Paige, who is the youngest of four. “I compare myself often, especially to my sister who is only two years older. But even teachers will constantly tell me how different we are, how we have different attitudes and abilities. It’s hard for me to have that constant comparison.”

Not only does everyone expect you to reach your siblings accomplishments but do better. It is the unspoken pressure that only the youngest will understand.

“My sister is super, like, school smart,” says freshman Rosemary Makarewicz. “So whenever I get good grades and stuff, it’s already classes that she’s taken, so it’s like I don’t get as much recognition for the good grades.”

Personally, my sister, Madison, was a senior at Nonnewaug last year. She was in the top 10% of her class, the class president, a phenomenal artist and she was in the National Art Honor Society and National Honor Society, on top of sports and ballet. Now in college, she is making the dean’s list and is still an award-winning artist even as a freshman. She is, in short, the most well-rounded person I’ve ever met.

While being proud of my sister for her amazing accomplishments, it still reminds me of what I have to do to be able to not only be where she is but also have different accomplishments that stand out.

I am definitely not the only younger sibling who feels this way.

“Gabby like A-plus-plus student. She’s in an honors college. She’s been on the dean’s list multiple times,” sophomore Alexia Binette says of her older sister. “That means that I have to work harder to, you know, actually be good at stuff, and even though she has her own challenges and she worked really hard for that; my parents expect more out of me because she was able to do it.”

Does this get better?

“My sister is now my best friend,” says English teacher Rebecca Gambardella, who is the youngest of two. “I think that as you get older you mature and siblings stop fighting, and they start being really close because they’re the only one who have had throughout your entire life, they’re the only person who’s had similar experiences to you.”

Having a sibling is like a built-in best friend and that is always the best part. The worst part is when the time has run out and they go off on their own while the youngest is still in the same house and the same town … but without their best friend.

My sister moved away to college this year and it was quite the adjustment. I went from her driving me home everyday from school, going to dance with her, running errands and spending every minute with her to that all being gone. It went from the constant time of being together to 30-minute phone calls. It was a difficult adjustment for me to see that I would be alone a lot more than I was expecting. I didn’t realize how much time we actually spent together.

“Having my sister away from home is a bit more difficult to manage than I thought,” says senior Chloe Walsh, who has an older sister who similarly left for college following graduation. “We’re pretty close with one another and talk to each other constantly on the phone, but it’s hard for both of us because she misses so much in our family.”

Although being a youngest sibling isn’t always better, there are definitely plus sides to watching your older siblings grow up.

“I like being a younger sibling because of how I get to watch my siblings do well or mess up in life and follow their advice,” says Paige. “It’s like having three free trials in front of me and I get to see how each of their lives mapped out based on their choices.”

As this is helpful, some kids feel pressured by the path of their siblings. It seems as if this is what is perfect for you as well even though you might not feel like it is. Being compared and being held to expectations you have to exceed is not the best thing for anyone.

Birth order is something that leads people to believe in stereotypes of the traits in siblings. Older siblings are responsible and academically driven while younger siblings are outgoing and free thinkers. If you dive into the complexities of the real experiences, you will find that it is both right and wrong. The problems of the older siblings are more recognized because they have to pave the way, take on all of the responsibilities, and help to raise the younger siblings. Younger siblings are viewed as brats you get everything they want. But this is the other side of the dynamic. Youngest siblings have to live up to it all.

We can choose our friends, but we can’t choose our siblings, and that can be both a curse and yet a lifelong blessing.

This piece is an opinion piece written by Arts and Entertainment Editor Morgan Willis ’27.