WOODBURY— With college decisions coming up fast, many people think of the seniors and how new experiences are starting for them, but what about the ones being left behind?

The younger siblings. 

Being the younger sibling might seem great; you always get what you want, not having to do any work, favoritism. But the reality is much more than that: the constant feeling of being in your siblings’ shadow, and then one day, they leave, and you are suddenly the last one left. 

For Nonnewaug students, being the younger sibling and facing the reality of being a nearly empty nester is beginning to sink in. 

“At first the house felt kind of empty so I definitely enjoyed having some more space to myself,” said Grace Rubacha who watched her brother Jack graduate from NHS two years ago and head off to Northeastern.

As the youngest sibling myself, with spring coming up and graduation quickly approaching, I, too, will be experiencing the empty nest effect. 

Catherine Viveros, a sophomore at Nonnewaug who already lost two of her brothers to college, is soon going to have to say goodbye to her older brother Scott.  

“I feel like it’s going to be really weird having all the attention on me, I went from being one of four to soon being the only kid at the house,” Viveros said. “But I think the attention shift will change and it will be really hard.”

Senior Ella Brown knows that the adjustment from having a full house to being the last one left can be especially difficult.. 

“It was definitely an adjustment because you go from having them around all the time to not,” Brown said. “And you’re not really seeing them everyday, you’re talking to them on the phone so it is not the same.”

Within my own house, I have been pushing away the thoughts of my twin older siblings graduating high school and moving on to the next chapter of their lives without me. As happy as I am for them to embrace new experiences, it will be hard for me to not have them right across the hall. 

Younger siblings aren’t the only ones that experience this sadness, but the parents of these kids are also having to adjust to living with one or, in some cases, two less people in the house.  

According to the American Psychological Association, psychologist Karen L. Fingerman, notes that there is in fact a tremendous amount of pressure that students and parents face when navigating the empty nest predicament.

“While they acknowledge that parents do feel a sense of loss when their nests empty,” said Fingerman, “they are also finding that this period can be one of increased satisfaction and improved relationships.”

Spanish teacher Karen Sandor knows this all too well as her sons Gavin and Liam both graduated from NHS last spring, and since then…the house has been quiet.

“I miss the conversations,” Sandor said, reminiscing about life with a house full of children. Sandor’s twin boys, Liam and Gavin, attend UConn and Yale, respectively. “My kids and I always had great conversations about school or their social life, or things that are happening in the family, so I definitely miss talking to them and seeing them everyday.”  

I’ve seen this myself as my parents are opening up to me about getting ready to send my siblings off into the real world. The sting or solitude rings true even with the parents of my graduated friends who have already experienced the bittersweet feeling of having to let your child go.  

“I think they’re definitely going to have a couple of hard moments but they’ll find a hobby and start enjoying it,” Rubacha said, acknowledging the regained independence that comes with sending your children off. “I just hope they don’t get bored and bother me too much while I’m at college.”

The feelings connected to being an empty-nester aren’t unique, but that doesn’t necessarily make it any easier. Knowing that there are other kids that have experienced the same thing, or will be going through it soon can make you feel less anxious for the looming day of their departure. 

“Everything is going to be okay, it seems like a big change right away, but you kind of get used to it,” Brown said. “You know that they’re doing something that they love and that makes them happy, so you still miss them, but you’re also just happy for them.”